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A fictional conversation, late 1850s.
Woe! Woe! Misery & woe!
What? What's wrong?
A new color has just been invented. It's the first-ever synthetic organic dye.
So, what's wrong with that?
It's mauve! It's an inherently tacky and hideous shade of purple. Now all the talentless amateur hacks will be able to paint pictures with no redeeming artistic value whatsoever. It is the End of the World! Woe!
Wait, are these the same talentless hacks you've been complaining about for the last several years? The ones who are cranking out kitsch at such an alarming rate that your deep and meaningful art never has a chance of getting any critical notice?
Yeah, those same ones.
So why is having a new color any different than using the same old colors?
Because now the hacks have it EASIER! Instead of having to use a paintbrush to make their horrible travesties, they can just dunk the canvas straight into dye, and call it done!
Huh. Well, okay, I guess. But why does it matter so much what the hobbyists are doing? It seems to bring them some joy, and it's not like it needs to affect your important, well-thought-out art in any significant way, does it?
What! Of course it affects my art! You see, they're calling their appalling junk art, so how in the world can anyone be expected to tell the difference? I mean, they're both called the same thing, and there's so much of their bad art out there that most people are going to think that's what it's supposed to be like. Then when people see my good art, they think it's stupid and wrong. Oh my, people say such terrible things about my art. They tell me it's ugly. They say it looks like it was made by a talentless amateur hack. Woe!
Wow, that really sucks. Have these art-defying amateurs always made bad kitsch, even though you've been carefully pointing out what's wrong with it all these years?
Yeah, there's no stopping them. They don't seem to listen to me at all.
And yet you keep trying.
Well, I feel it's important. Somebody has to speak up about these things. Silence implies agreement, after all. It's a public duty, at the very least, for a few brave, clear-sighted individuals to bring these injustices to light.
So you continue to repeat, over and over again, that their aesthetic sense is non-existent, their efforts are inadequate and laughable, their standards are faulty, and their respected institutions are riddled with corruption, is that it?
That's pretty much it, yes.
But somehow, none of them seem to like you very much.
No.
I just don't understand it at all.
They're just wrong, that's all. Misguided and wrong.
Well, that's all the time we have. Thanks for chatting. Goodnight!
Woe!
Armageddon in Mauve
(The preceding image was constructed without the use of false devices. Persons claiming to be our representatives are swindlers. No soap 'til Thursday.)
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